i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize