Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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