Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she peed on how many people?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
