dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I need water and some morals
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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