I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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