my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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