you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
