It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
