just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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