Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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