My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
