first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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