i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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