ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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