Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
