What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
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alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I could fuck to npr.
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I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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