tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
