It's like God shit irony all over that family
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
