Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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