im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
