whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
