Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
