I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
