I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
