i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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