I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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