OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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