you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
