You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
why do cheetos always look like penises
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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