The maid of honor just puked.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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