butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
