two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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