I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
