I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize