the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
