No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
