Plan B is the new Plan A
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
