hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
