The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
