none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
