He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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