You work out of a Hotel?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
