belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.