she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set