Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
