their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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