...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You are the jesus of drinking
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
