Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
