if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
