i may or may not be watching the land before time
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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