Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
