I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
