that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize