I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
17 year olds will be the death of me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
