What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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