"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
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Someone came in the potted fern
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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