but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize